April 2, 2013
If you read my content with any sort of regularity, you’re aware that I’m an unabashed lover of fast food. I get mad at other people for getting mad at me for eating it. I take pictures of most of my meals so that others may see. I make sure to eat at McDonald’s when I travel overseas. I try every new item that comes out at Taco Bell, and then I get sad and wistful when they go away.
While I enjoy eating fast food immensely, I’m aware that it’s not exactly the most healthy habit. Choose a health metric — calories, sodium, saturated fat — and it’s terrible for both your figure and your inner organs. On top of this, the quality of the individual ingredients is not as high as it would be at nicer restaurants. I don’t mean this as a complaint, but it is objectively true–you can’t expect to pay $1 for a double cheeseburger or $10 for a large pizza with no tradeoff.
While I have no proof, I believe that when all nutrition label numbers are equal, food made from lower quality ingredients is cumulatively worse for our bodies. This may be completely misguided, but I’m almost certain that it’s the case, and have shifted my greasy food consumption habits accordingly in recent years.
Unfortunately, “real” restaurants aren’t always as creative as fast food establishments. Some are, and they should be applauded, but I’ve never seen anything like Pizza Hut’s ‘crazy cheesy crust’ pizza anywhere else and I’ve never found a Mexican restaurant that has something like Taco Bell’s Crunchwrap Supreme. The culinary culture can do more, and we need to demand it of them.
Here are 14 fast food items — some of which have been discontinued — that I wish I could order at real restaurants. If there’s anything you feel like I overlooked, please link to it in the comments.
1. Pizza Hut’s Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza – the crust is stuffed with a combination of asiago, romano, fontina, provolone, and mozzarella cheese. Why is the pizza shaped like a crown? Because it’s fit for a king.
2. Jack in the Box’s Bacon Milkshake – People are putting bacon on and in everything nowadays. We are in a brave new world. It feels pretty nice to live in such an advanced society. As my friend Craig always says, everything that tastes good tastes good together.