How I saw the Internet this week
- Wright Thompson profiles Bear Bryant’s driver:
Billy picked him up in the morning. He dropped him off at night. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they didn’t. Often, Coach read the paper aloud. Once, when a state trooper clocked Varner speeding, Bryant stuck his houndstooth hat in the back window. The patrolman understood and backed off. Billy saw him weak and insecure. He drove him to Birmingham one year before Christmas because Bryant got a letter from a sick girl and he wanted to surprise her. He saw him cry. When Paul took his grandson fishing, Billy came along.
Varner never felt comfortable enough to strike up conversations with Bryant, but he could poke at the Legend of The Bear. Driving through Mississippi one night, they stopped at a catfish house. Bryant bought seafood dinners for everyone there, and Billy cracked later, “It was like you were handing out loaves and fishes.” At the end, when Bryant was sicker than anyone knew, Billy heard the private coughs.
- On Grantland, Steve Marsh writes an incredible profile on the process of funding the new Vikings stadium:
It’s an election year, which, strangely, means that this spring was supposed to be a do-nothing legislative session. Everybody — Democrats, Republicans, and tea partiers alike — were supposed to be too nervous to take a stand on anything, anxiously hoping to run out the clock by pointing fingers at each other until November. But when the Vikings stadium bill predictably fell apart in some House committee, Roger Goodell got involved. The commissioner grabbed Art Rooney, everybody’s favorite mascot for surrogate paternal authority, and flew into town to hold a joint press conference with our governor and no. 1 Vikings fan Mark Dayton. They made not very carefully veiled threats about the Vikings becoming a “free agent” if something wasn’t done by the end of this session.
- Natalie Wolchover seeks to answer a burning question that has been plaguing me since childhood: How much gold would you need to recreate Scrooge McDuck’s gold coin pool?
- The world’s oldest workers (I hope) in the world’s oldest profession: 69-year old twin prostitutes.
- I normally can’t STAND Thought Catalog but this is a very well-done post by Ryan O’Connell: “25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s.”
- Why do people crush Photoshop for digitally altering reality while Instagram gets a pass?
- A urinal that lets you play guitar with your urine.
- On Grantland, Bill Barnwell takes us through the first round of NFL over/under bet props.
- Drew Magary HATES mayo:
I hate mayonnaise. I hate it, and I’ve hated it my entire life. But I can’t seem to escape it. You mayo-haters out there know what I mean. You walk into a restaurant, you order something and say, “but no mayo,” then when it’s delivered to you not only is there mayo on it, there is an OFFENSIVE amount of mayo on it. Every pore in the bread bursts with it. It’s such a horrible thing to experience, because it means that either your server forgot your request to hold the mayo or–and this is far worse–your server IGNORED the request. “What? Hold the mayo? He can’t possibly be serious. Let’s triple the mayo so that he appreciates it fully.”
Strawberry Nutella Waffle @ Waffle Bros (Denver, CO)
Chicken Breast Sandwich with Pesto Mayo @ Panes Bread Cafe (Chicago, IL)